Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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