Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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