We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
