Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Someone came in the potted fern
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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