She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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