I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
