I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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