Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
