oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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