We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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