it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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