Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Two words: blizzard sex
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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