Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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