Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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