my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
