I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
