You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
