I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
and she was petting her beer can
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
