$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
