My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
