Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just found puke in my bra..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
