so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Still dying that you shit outside
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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