return my video game
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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