The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
