So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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