Your mouth is God's brothel.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
