Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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