I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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