good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize