A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
