Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
