I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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