So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
