How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
40s are totally the cure
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
