all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Randomize