so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
