Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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