Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
