she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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