At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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