So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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