You smell like a Billy Joel song
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize