I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I did not marry a roomba.
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