I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
