i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
