soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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