like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
