Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
