so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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