Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
dude. I can hear the air.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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