Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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