my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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