she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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