Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
