He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
