i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
