there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
