No, you can still breathe under the balls.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize