but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
