my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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