i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
