Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Pants 0. Shit 1.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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