Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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