he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Im part way to drunk.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
