How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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