U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
