Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
