come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
