The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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