Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
