Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
