I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
