It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize