Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize