I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
