Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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