Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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