Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
