Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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