i permit you to call me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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