Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
